18 October 2011

Return to the "Norm"

Going to work every day was the norm up to about 34 weeks in my pregnancy. For the past 15 weeks, I have been at home. For the last 13 weeks I have had a baby girl to cuddle, feed, and comfort. It has been very hard, but quite rewarding work, but yesterday it was over. My full time job will always be as a mother, but now, I am once again,  a valuable member of my team at SAS.

Day one was not quite as I expected it to be. Sunday night, as Sloan cried when I tried to put her to bed, I too shed a tear. Perhaps we were sharing the same emotions, her sensing mine. But it was short lived. Exhausted from a long Saturday night, we went to sleep. 

Monday morning took a little bit longer to get out the door than I had hoped. Fortunately I have a wonderful and thoughtful husband who surprised me with breakfast while I showered. I think he intended for me to have the breakfast in bed, but I knew that Sloan would wake up soon and I needed to get ready for the day! There were so many things to remember for the first day. Diapers, bottle, changes of clothes and socks. Every day I must bring in a fresh bottle and since I am nursing Sloan, I am only bringing about 2 ounces. Just enough in the event that she is still hungry after i leave. There will be some days that I have to bring a full bottle because I will have meetings, but for this first week, I do not plan on missing a feeding.

On Monday, we arrived after the rush of drop off. Day Care opens at 8:45, so we cannot get there any earlier. This is fine for me, and while Sloan is still an itty bitty girl, my plan is to bring her into my office until daycare opens, and then i will walk over there with her. Monday that was not the plan because of all of the things that we had to carry in with us. Today this is the case but rather than work, i am taking the time to quickly update my blog.

I expected to return to my office and cry my eyes out. I expected to struggle to pull myself away from the building as I walked back to my office. But instead, Sloan fell asleep on the 5 minute drive to campus. As I carried her in, they immediately took her and laid her down in her bed. Sloan has her own bed and it has a colorful mobile, much like the one she has at home in her play center. This was comforting to me, as i am sure it was to her upon waking. I dropped off her things, talked to the teachers briefly, and said goodbye, promising to return in another 90 minutes for her next feeding. I took a deep breath, one last glimpse of my sweet baby girl, and i walked back to my office.

I didn't cry. Sloan didn't cry. And it was ok. All was right in my world.

I came back to my office, and was able to quickly get to my desk without any distraction. I kept my door closed and proceeded to clean up and display the many pictures that I had brought from home. A little while later, i walked back over to feed her. I then grabbed lunch and headed to my office to eat. I smiled all day. All the familiar faces of friends, coworkers and acquaintences was refreshing and uplifting. I was not sad. Sloan was in a great place and so was i! She slept until i returned again at 2:30. The next time i went over, it was time to go home. she ate dinner, then Rick came home and we went for a walk with the dog, had some dinner, and then Sloan took a bath, ate again and went to bed. An hour later I went to bed, exhausted, but feeling pretty good about my wonderful first day. The day flew by, and I am looking forward to today! I know that it will take me a little while to get into a routine and figure out what works for me, but that is just it. I will figure it out. And it will work. Not only will it work, but I am hoping that Sloan THRIVES in her new environment. As a bonus after an exhausting first day,  Sloan SLEPT from 9pm until 6am!! Just what we both needed. 

All is right in our world, as we establish a new normal, I think I can get used to this and it is my prayer that every day can go as great as the first!

1 comment:

  1. So glad your first day back went well. For me, there was a nice familiarity to being back at work.

    That is so cool that you can go see her multiple times per day to feed her. I usually have to send 4-5 bottles with Jade, because her school is about 15-20 minutes away from where I work.

    And I can totally relate to the good sleeping that daycare provides! Sometimes, the weekends are the longest!