07 July 2010

My daddy

My dad and I are so much alike. With the exception of me being a bit more laid back than him, I have his total personality. I think that difference comes with the different upbrinings. He was raised by a Naval Captain who fought in WWII, I was raised by the son of a Naval Captain. And we look so much alike. I mean check this picture out.

This is the one i really wanted to post for Fathers Day. I had a horrible relationship with my dad for a few years, mainly from high school and a bit on. I mean it wasn't THAT bad, but in my head it was. And if i could take it all back i would. If i could do it over again. But , he made rules that i didn't care for. I saw rules as his hatred for me and my having fun. But I'm an adult now. I see it all differently. I wonder if my dad ever reads this... because over and over i find myself telling my father how sorry I am for how horrible I was to him. You know, life is so short. You really never know when it will end and you have to make the most of every opportunity. Like the flash of a light, it can just end. But no matter how horrible I was to my dad, he never gave up on me. He was always there. Cheering me on. Supporting me. Loving me.  
I think thats what its about. Unconditional love. I never deserved the love he gave me. Not after the way I behaved towards him. I said some really mean hurtful things, but he chose to love me anyways. Because my dad is a real man. A man full of honor and integrity. He is the most respectable person I know, and I think others around him know this about him. He works hard, he gets it done, and he tells the truth. He is a real man. And because of that which he modeled before me (oh mom was exquisite as well but that is another blog for another day), because of them, I became a real woman. And now that I'm a woman, I can see the truth, that my teenage angst blinded me from.  But my dad really did love me and he really was my number one fan ( i mean he did show up to nearly every single soccer game i've ever played in with the exception of Maine and NY and a few in Virginia)... So dad, i know i said it on Sunday a week ago, but i felt so compelled to write this again. Because the amount of support and love that you've given me, I am who i am. And though I don't believe i'll ever be able to return even a fraction, i'll continue to try my best to make you proud of me through a life well lived through honor, integrity, hard work and a strong sense of family. Everything modeled by you for me.  I felt compelled to write for you tonight dad, so here's to you. I love you a million billion times!

1 comment:

  1. Jen
    Just writing that and understanding the whole concept of unconditional love will (I believe) all that your Dad seeks. We all love our kids and that is not in question. It is how we love our kids that really is the differentiator between parents and great parents. Our kids sometimes have to get to ~ 30 before they understand the difference. You are a lucky woman to have such a Dad