07 February 2010

Things never to say to a woman


Friday night rick learned a new lesson. I'm sure with 2 sisters he has learned this before, but perhaps his last few years of being a bachelor have stunted his knowledge and understanding. Let me explain....

In preparation for my trip to Bahrain, I got a hair cut. I don't cut my hair all that often, I would say 2-3 times a year. Usually I grow my hair out pretty long, then i cut it all off and start all over. Last time I cut my hair super super short was August 2008. The reaction I get when i chop off my hair covers a wide spectrum from "OMG your hair is so adorable. I love it." to... "Oh, you cut your hair" to .... "Why in the world did you cut off that beautiful blonde hair."  You can't please everyone, so only try to live to please yourself, you end up much happier that way. Either rate, when i cut it all off, it was cute, but I was over it, so i decided to grow it out starting last Christmas ('08).  People always remark on how quickly my hair grows. i would say an average of 6-8 inches a year, but that's just a rough estimate. Nonetheless, my hair is like a weed in that it grows quickly. Any woman knows that in order to grow your hair out, you have to keep it trimmed or else you'll end up with a ton of split ends and what equates into unhealthy ratty looking trailer trash hair. No offense to anyone living in a trailer. And to be honest, if you do have ratty looking hair, then maybe you should cut off the unhealthy portion and start all over.  I don't use products on my hair, I don't color my hair,  I hardly comb it, I hardly blow dry it, i hardly do anything at all, and this enables me to go for long periods of time without cutting it. Plain and Simple. that's the honest truth. It saves me tons of time and not to mention money. On the outside i am pretty low maintenance. On the inside, that is quite another story.


So back to my story. Since yesterday was Friday, Rick asked me to call him when i was done doing whatever it is i do on Friday nights. So around 9pm, i gave rick a call. We greeted each other and as he wiped the sleep out of his eyes, I said, well, i cut my hair. Here was his reaction: "Why did you cut your hair? i liked it long...." Now you can imagine my reaction to this. Immediately, bottom lip goes out, frown takes over, and I say, "Wow, i only trimmed it, its not that bad." Immediately Rick is stumbling over his words, digging his hole deeper and deeper. I just woke up, i don't know what i'm saying. etc etc.  I'm really not that offended but it, it really is just a trim, and my hair grows quickly, but it was a lot of fun to torture him and I think i reacted in a way to discourage this behavior ever again. I quickly forgave him and that was that. He wasn't really a jerk or anything, but we all know that men have a tendency to say what is on their minds without thinking it through... I don't think he meant, you hair looks bad... they never do. Except for the times that they actually do but usually we know it by then too.


Men should never tell the truth to the following questions:


Am I fat?
Am I getting fat?
Do you think I'm gaining weight?
Does my butt look big?
Do you like my hair cut?
Do you think she is prettier than me?
Do you wish I had bigger breasts?
The proper answer to any of these questions would be.
I only have eyes for you. I love you just the way you are.  Wow you are beautiful. I love that butt. Your hair is great. What girl??? You are the only one. I want you to do whatever makes you happy because that makes me happy.


Now; i am not worried about walking out of the house in unacceptable clothing, so i'll never have to ask if this outfit looks ok, but maybe that is where you can be honest and save the embarrassment.


the good news is this. When i woke up Saturday morning, Rick was anxiously waiting for me to call him so that he could say this:v
"Sweetheart, I need you to look me in the eyes while i say this to you. I spent all day thinking about what I said to you last night about your hair, and I have no idea what I was thinking, You are so beautiful, and amazing, and you look great any way you are, and I really shouldn't have said what I did. I love you so much, and i feel horrible about what I said. Will you please forgive me?" (He probably listed a thousand other things as well, but those were for me to hear, and I'm not trying to bore you)


Of course i forgave him, i already had, and I think that he suffered far more from his comment than i ever did. Lesson learned, and i doubt he will ever repeat this offense, but i'm also sure there will be many more lessons to learn. I am so touched by his sincerity, and conviction in needing to apologize to me. I absolutely melted, and if this is a glimpse of what I have to look forward to for the rest of my life, then bring on the mistakes, the making up is the best part.


I think i'll go chop off my hair now

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