01 February 2010

Mail Received

I mailed Rick a card a few weeks ago. A real, hand written letter. i was so excited about him receiving it before i arrived in Bahrain.  This morning I woke up to the following email:

Yes I was surprised

Quite blown away actually.  My heart kind of stopped when Simi meekly came to my desk and offered me this strange card.  I don't get much mail at the office or anywhere.  Usually it is a bill.  But this was an odd shaped card.  I looked on the back and saw the post mark of *******, NC.   A smile slowly broke out over my consternated look of confusion.  I opened up the card and as I read my heart melted again.  You make my heart melt like soft butter in the hot arabian sun.  You make it melt over and over again.  How do you do that?  As I was reading the card, I was swelling with pride.  You make me feel so good about myself.  I am not used to that.  As I've told you again and again, my self-esteem was completely bottomed out with my divorce and I learned to get my esteem from God and God alone.  That is the healthy way to do it.  But to have someone like you prop me up is quite disarming, appealing, and intoxicating.  I am just not used to it.  As I read your words my chest begins to puff out and I think, am I really all these things?  Am I really that good looking?  Am I really that amazing?  Am I really all that special?  I guess the esteem that I got from God dealt with my professional abilities, my love for others, and my heart.  I neglected the romantic side, since it didn't really exist.  You are helping me rediscover that Jennifer.  Maybe God is using you as a tool to help me see how special I am.  Its easy for me to see how spectacularly different that you are.  I can go on and on about what a unique work of Art that God made you out to be.  When I say that there is no one like you out there in the world, I believe it whole heartedly.  You are a treasure.  Im used to giving out love and admiring.  Im just not used to having it reciprocated like you are doing.  It's different but I like it.  I could get used to this.  That makes me want you all the more.  You are my treasure.  You are the needle in the haystack that God showed me exactly where to look.  This is really different for me, because I haven't been loved or admired romantically for so long.  I forgot those feelings inside of me even existed.  But you are bringing me back to life.  I guess I didn't know what I was missing until you showed me the way.  Im so hopeful and confident about our future.

Yes, you are the one...you are the one...you make it all worthwhile....


I don't think Rick has ever been loved the way God designed for us to love one another. I look forward to the chance to show him day after day, how God intended for him to be loved. Neither of us were ever loved that way. Despite the mistakes we made in our past, we were taken for granted and mistreated. I am quite convinced of that.  Isn't it great that we both get another chance to love and be loved as God designed? I think so. In 9 days, i'll be in the air... headed to find out for sure. 

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