I have all these memories that I feel like I have to write down or I will forget them forever. Like the first sleepover with my friend Michelle Hannah, I had to sleep on a cot while she slept in her beautiful Canopy bed. I woke up in the middle of the night sort of and tried to pee in the closet. i was sleep walking and really lost. I guess I was opening and closing doors in my sleep walk because her grandmother took my hand and led me to the toilet. I think I was only 4 or 5. It was so embarrassing at the time. I just wanted to cry and go home, But the neat thing is that i still remember it and now i can laugh. I remember in 4 year old kindergarten in Mrs. Copenhavers class when the boy sitting next to me, Colin, threw up his Chicken Salad sandwich all over my left arm. It was so disgusting. I have never really liked chicken salad. This is probably why. I can still feel it on my arm and the smell. Oh the smell. YUCK. I remember building a motorcycle out of those cardboard bricks every morning with Timothy Riley, and we would hop on and pretend to ride. This was also when I was 4. I can still remember the exact spot in the classroom where we would play. I remember being 5, and staying at "late stay", basically where all the kids who couldn't go home after school because our parents worked full time stayed and waited. They used to feed us butter bread at snack time. While the memory of the snack was quite tasty, and I know it would still be really good to eat (solid butter on white bread, chilled) it sort of makes me feel a little sick to think that i was served butter on bread. I guess there were no rules back then about what you can eat or serve to a kid. We also had this really great red koolaid. I doubt it was sugar free just as I doubt that butter was fat free or low fat of any kind. I still turned out ok.
Another memory of late stay, when I was probably four or five years old, it was summer time, and I was outside on the playground waiting for mom. I was wearing my green overalls that I loved wearing. I remember I really had to go to the bathroom, and i asked permission and i was denied since my mother would soon be there. Well, mom didn't get there soon enough and I peed right here on the swing because my little bladder couldn't hold it any longer. I was so embarrassed and as soon as my mom showed up i ran to her and cried and was just so infuriated that I was denied permission to use the bathroom. I remember the way my mother smelled after coming to pick me up from work. A faint trace of her perfume masked by the mustiness of the books and files and type writer ribbon smell from the law firm downtown... Yes that was the smell. I can remember it so well. If i close my eyes its almost like it was yesterday. Her necklace with the little beads on it, the beads varied in size the center one being biggest and smaller as they went out. It was gold I believe.
My father still smells the same now as he did when i was a little girl. I think it is his aftershave. but it is the smell of dad. I would never date a man that smells like dad. That would be too weird. It would be like the time I dated a guy that wore the same cologne that my younger brother wore. And you could smell my brother coming for miles, he really poured in on, it was pretty ridiculous. But that was the last time I went out with that guy. I never told him why, and to be fair, it really wasn't fair, but if you smell like my brother, then you remind me of my brother, and that is just weird. my science fair project in seventh grade was about onions - Why do onions make you cry? (i know but i'm not telling you right now), the research portion of my project tied into the sense of smell. Smell is the sense most closely tied to our memories. It doesn't surprise me that my memories are quite vivid. After all, i do love to smell. I smell EVERYTHING, well, almost everything. There are SOME times that i do choose to hold my breath and not smell, but that is not the point... Smelling. It's what i do, wait that sounds like i'm stinky. I'm not. But i think smelling, that is my way of remembering moments? I don't know. But I sure do remember a lot... And i'm quite certain that the first thing I will do when Rick and i embrace for the first time, I will smell him. I will take in a big lung filling whiff of him. I sure hope he is clean. This will undoubtedly leave an impression in my mind forever. He could really blow it if he doesn't smell right.
Back to my memories, this will be the last one today.... I remember a lot about being in first grade. I got put in the "quiet corner". Surprise Surprise. It was because i talked too much. Well guess what? You can talk in the quiet corner too. What are they gonna do? Put a muzzle on me? I ultimately got kicked out of the quiet corner and put outside on the little porch. I could still see the entire class so i just stood there and made faces at everyone and danced around. What could she really do? I was 6, and a young six at that. My mom just had a baby and I probably was craving the attention I once received. I think i was just bored, lack of stimulation, and Mrs. Metcalf my teacher was quite the witch. I really disllked her. I think we all did. Would you be surprised to know that I won the award for having read the most books in first grade? 196 books in one year. I won. Elizabeth Diffey is probably still pissed off having come in second to my first.. As a reward for winning I got a trophy! Also Elizabeth gave me a piece of grape bubble gum. I put that gum in my mouth in the middle of class and the stupid twit told on me. Some reward. I think it was a sabotage. But i won the trophy and she didn't. Suck on that Liz! I still cannot believe she told on me. It was a total set up. I learned then and there not to trust anyone. I still have trouble trusting girls. I blame her. I guess that was a pretty big life lesson for a six year old. What a hard life lesson indeed.