11 January 2010

The quick sentences usually drag on into short novels...

i started this blog not too long ago, just for myself. Just as a place to put my thoughts and ideas. I'm glad there are some people that are enjoying reading it, but the purpose is for me. If you don't enjoy it, then you can just close your browser. I have no problem with that. In fact, I wonder if anyone enjoys reading this? I'm quite loquacious, and it has been apparent in my last few postings. I learned that word in my high school SAT English Prep class I took. I remember because the teacher looked at me as she introduced the new word and said "Jennifer, tell us what loquacious means." That should tell you a little about me, but anyone that knows me knows... I'm a talker. Rick is a talker too. Its funny because we are literally fighting for airtime... We have so much to say. We have so much lost time to catch up on. I know it has all happened so sudden. I'm not a fool. He knows that too, but we cannot deny that what we feel is just right. Time shall tell. Oh, and I have a flight. Rick sent me my itinerary this weekend i think. The 10th of Feb to the 28th. Please pray that my boss will allow me to work remotely from Bahrain. If not, i've burned up most of my paid vacation for the year in record time. Last year it was by mid-september. Prior years I carried over at least a half day... Last year was tough to survive the fourth quarter without vacation time. If this is the case now, I would have three quarters and a month to ration 4 vacation days. Please boss man. Please let me. I promise I will work so hard. I am quite motivated actually, but this is due to my ulterior motives that will be unveiled in due time.

I have kept a journal for most of my life. Starting in first grade on my sixth birthday when i received a diary with a lock. I used to sneak into my sisters room and steal her diary, pick the lock, and read it. Especially once I got my own room in the new house in 1988. We moved into the new house on the 26/27 Aug 1988. I remember because it was just before my birthday and I thought for sure, the house was for me. I'm sort of selfish like that. My sister was always more popular than me. Probably because she has my mothers personality. She is kind and sweet. She smiles a lot and is just so loving... She really is an exceptional woman. I was always jealous of her, and once she got a little too cool for me because I was the bratty little sister, well that's when i had to read her diary. I had to know what was going on. I liked the way she wrote in it too. She would write on the right hand side of the book, and then continue on the backside of the previous page. I would try to emulate her when I wrote in my diary. I really loved reading it though. It was like crack to me. I couldn't get enough. The thrill of being able to sneak and find it (she learned to hide it but i was clever)... Those cheap locks were meant to be picked and it was so easy... Looking back, i think my mother always read my diary too. I probably got my sleuthing skills from her. Genetics. I blame genetics for all of my wonderful flaws. Mom always knew everything.. She claims everything was by mistake, but I don't buy it. She never found the beer I hid in the top of my closet that one time, but probably because I guarded it with my life. She did however find my cigarettes when i was 15/16 years old. I remember because I grabbed them one day only to find a post it note. It said "Please Don't. :( Love, Mom" Looking back that sort of makes me tear up. She is such a smart compassionate loving woman. She really is amazing. I'll have to blog more about mom later. I have the most respect for her and am so grateful that we are so close. I really wish I would have listened to my parents better when I was younger. But then again, had I listened, I would have never been who I am now. I am a firm believer that we are a by-product of our experiences. If that is the case, then i'm like a hotdog. A lot of crap, all processed and put together, but oooh so yummy. I'll take that. I can be a hotdog. I mean think about it just for a second. Not too long or you'll swear off hotdogs forever. But hotdogs are quite tasty despite their inner makings. Did you know that the average american eats 60 hotdogs a year? I think that is way too many, but then again, I think i had one at work last week, so my count is officially at one. The hotdogs at work, I was told, are actually soy, so i was being healthy. I need to do some fact checking there. Maybe i'm a soy dog... No. I'm pure pork and beef.

The first entry in my first diary was something cute like
(remember i was 6 and spelling was in development)
"This is my dairy I got for my brithday. I am six years old.
I have a boyfriend. HIs name is Kerry and Greg. Thay are lifeguards at the pool.
I want to marry kerry or greg. They are cute too."

I was cleaning out my house and threw it out i think... drat. It was fun to read though. Just wanted to share Inside the Mind of six year old me. I've been writing ever since. You should see the stacks of journals I have in my home office. You can't read them though. Rememeber, I'm a hotdog. You're better off not knowing whats inside.

I was going to keep this short, but perhaps i've passed that marker. Tonight I must read at least three articles for my Background on my dissertation. I also need to summarize them. I am tired after working all day and my lower back has been killing me. I went to the doctor and hopefully the medications will provide relief without hindering my ability to read and write. I have had some crap luck in the health department in the last... well for my entire life really. When I was born, probably a week after I came home from the hospital, I got very sick and they had to take me back. Now that I think about it, they were probably trying to return me for a better model. I think its my own fault. A product of my environment again. All those nasty things inside of me are bound to make me sick. This is something I can change. My habits are quite improved upon now, and I think, no i believe, that I will see much better health in the years to come. I am excited about that. I think my life is beginning to pan out quite nicely. I'm excited for what adventures are in store. But I digress.

I am off to cook myself a nice dinner (time to practice since i sort of sold myself as someone who likes to cook), and then I will read. I had better hurry. Rick will probably want to Skype when he wakes up, which will be in about three hours. This eight hour time gap is proving to be a challenge, but after week 1, we are slowly learning to manage. I must learn to prioritize and discipline myself now more than ever. Being a hotdog sure isn't easy.

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