24 January 2010

Preparing for the journey

I have so much to look forward to over these next two weeks (and three days). Much preparation is needed before I embark on my journey. This is a really big deal. Life as I know it is about to change, absolutely for the better. I mean there is going to be some slight hesitation in getting off the plane because I will be so nervous and excited to finally meet the love of my life face to face... I am so lucky to have him. No, that's not it. I am so blessed. Typically I feel gross after flying for 3 hours. How about 15 hours? I will have been awake for over 24 hours, aside from the little sleep I will get on the plane. I will be jet lagged, exhausted, anxious, nervous, and probably a little greasy... If he is still attracted to me after this long journey, then he will have seen me at my absolute worst.. At least in the looks department. And I will probably be feeling a bit needy and exhausted so I may be a little short with him, but somehow I doubt that. I think he is going to be absolutely wonderfully amazing and I am so excited, these next few weeks are going to FLY by! Here's a thought from Norma Jean Baker herself...

I'm selfish, impatient, and insecure.
I make mistakes. I am out of control and hard to handle.
But if you can't handle my worst,
then you don't deserve me at my best.
- Marilyn Monroe


I can't help but to project into the future. That is how i am. I am an analyst, so turning my mind off is much harder than turning it on, but i really am not that worried. I am more excited than anything, but still there is much to prepare for.

I have made a checklist of all the things that I will bring. Funny, last time i flew international, I was allowed to check 2 bags. I remember this because it was just September, and while I arrived in Europe with only one bag, I went shopping and had to purchase a second bag so that i would make it home with all my new possessions. Point being, rather than paying to check an extra bag, I am going to travel light if i can get away with it. What could i possibly need two bags for? I will be working for 8 or 9 days while in Bahrain, so i need some work clothes. I will be attending a ball, so i need to bring my fabulous dress and shoes. I guess everything else is up in the air. But this is not really the preparation that I am alluding to.

I need to prepare my heart for whatever God has in store. I need to be prepared for the countless possibilities. I need to be prepared to be strong, courageous, and enter a new land with an open mind. Culture is quite different in the Middle East as compared to the US or even most of Europe. Did you know that it is illegal to kiss in public in Bahrain? While Bahrain is not as rigid as other countries, such as Saudi Arabia, there are still some stringent laws that I will have to abide in. I am quite fortunate that I work and live near so many diverse people from all over the world: Europe, Asia, Africa, Australia, and the US of course. My boss, for instance, is from ALASKA. I have coworkers from Italy, Sri Lanka, China, Turkey, India, Kenya, Denmark, England, Australia, Canada, and let us not forget, the United States. Many other countries are represented in my workplace, but these are just a few from the top of my head. But when I enter the Middle East, I will not be in the comfort of my own environment. I will be a stranger in a new land. I will be the one that does not fit it. I will be the one that stands out as different. Maybe there are a lot of blondes in Bahrain, but common sense tells me that this is probably not the case.

I also need to prepare myself for Rick. I need to make sure that I am spiritually fit, and that I will meet him with a pure heart, and a gracious spirit. Let me be honest for a minute about myself. I have lived alone for many years aside from the 17 months that I was married, and the brief roommate before that, so in all, 29 months I was not alone out of the last 84 months. Give or take a few in either direction. Living alone has its perks. You don't have to talk to anyone ever. You can shut off the world and hide... and i have done that before. I don't think that i will want to hide from Rick, but spending 16 days with someone non-stop will be the ultimate litmus test. WE really have little doubt, and arranged such a long visit so that we would be able to know for certain that we will in fact spend the rest of our lives together. We already know, but perhaps our skeptics will quiet. Maybe they won't. Maybe they won't quiet until we've hit our second, third, fourth, or fiftieth anniversary. Either way. We plan to live forever, because that is how great our love is. It is forever. Till the end of time. I believe we have it. I believe that those 16 days will be an absolute dream, but you never know. If i am not prepared, my live alone attitude may get the best of me. So i need to make sure that I am ready. Prayers are always appreciated. Then again, I can always quarantine myself to my room if it gets ugly. I can see it now:
Rick: Jenni, are you going to wake up and come out of your room this morning
Me: < no answer >
Rick: Jenni???
Me: Leave me alone!
Rick: Fine, why don't you just go home!
Me: I am home....

Ok readers, I am totally kidding here. This will not happen. I think i will be totally excited to wake up in the morning to see another day in Bahrain. I have to embrace the few short days we have together. I don't know when my next trip will be, or actually when his will be to come visit me next. Who is ready for a party at my house?? That will definitely be in store, but one step at a time. I mean come on. i haven't even met the guy. Sheesh. Quit rushing me. First things first. I am looking forward to the blog that i will be writing in 17 days.... I don't think I've ever anticipated anything in my entire life as much as this. Not writing the blog people, meeting my love in the flesh! Just had to be sure we are on the same page. I am living in this dream world that just keeps getting better and better. The more I see his face and the more I hear his voice, the more my love for him grows. I never thought I would find a love like this before... Now that I have... just try to take it from me. I dare you to...

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